Fear of Silence
by AlessaSeven
Summary: I remained with my eyes fixed on the road. We were just coming back home. Finally. Just some time of peace after this vacation. In fact we didn't look like we spent a good period or a beautiful holiday. I looked at the seat on my right: my wife, Jodie, was staring at the autumn field out of the window, around us.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

I remained with my eyes fixed on the road. We were just coming back home.

Finally. Just some time of peace after this vacation. In fact we didn't look like we spent a good period or a beautiful holiday.

I looked at the seat on my right: my wife, Jodie, was staring at the autumn field out of the window, around us; her eyes were dull and empty and the setting sun was glistening her tears, held by her ebony eyes. The didn't want to get off.

She noticed my gaze but said nothing…

She felt so horrible knowing to be a carrier of that plague, her disease. It hurts just the thought of what might… No! I didn't want to think about it.

Meanwhile, I noticed the traffic was becoming more intense.

Jodie sighed loudly.

- What's going on? - I asked.

- It's all right, Harry - she whispered to me with a faint voice.

Poor thing.

But I was just worried about here. She was everything I had and I had to protect her as the most precious treasures. At first I thought that a little "break" would be good during this hard time, that would make her smile again, but obviously I was wrong. Since she knew from the doctor that she would be unable to have a child because of her illness, I never saw her smile. She had been so hopeless…

My heath twitched at the terrible news.

The man suggested us an adoption, but we probably didn't have enough money to take away a child from an orphanage.

She desiderated so hard a baby…

I usually heard her at night, when she prayed the Lord for relief and pure joy, her desire to be a mother. Also she would pray for me…

It was one thing that often made me stay awake all night: guilt. If only I could give her more!

Jodie, I'll always be with you, in sickness and in health, till death do us apart. It seemed something so stupid when we said so before the altar, not many years ago, and now…

She coughed violently. I looked at her, right in her dark eyes. She pleading asked me to stop the car somewhere because she needed to get some fresh. I pulled over and got out of the car, on the hard asphalt highway. I was by her side, as her walked on a field of dry leaves that crouched softly under our feet, away from the road.

Jodie took a deep breath:

- Thank you, Harry, What would I do without you, love? The way you take care of me… well…

She shyly turned her look toward the horizon and the sun, almost gone to still hide her tears.

I didn't keep quiet:

- Look, how about a walk around here? - I said - C'mon.

I didn't want to make feel her a different girl or an obstacle for my life and freedom. I took her by the hand and walked toward an old dead bunch of trees, completely dry; their branches formed really strange designs. She looked at me as she took off the pink sweater she was wearing, to tying it on the hips.

- Wait there - I said pointing to the old trees - I'll be back soon… with a present for you.

She nodded and I walked away to a small patch of daisies and other pretty flowers: I would have make a small wreath of flowers for her, like the ones my mother taught me when I was a little boy. It took me a few minutes… and it would be ready if a scream hadn't dropped the little gift from my hands.

- Harry! Hurry! Harry, there is something there… !

I rushed to Jodie. She was screaming, with a hand on her chest, heavy breath and eyes wide open. She was staring at a moving pile of dirty blankets on the ground.

What… ?! Moving?

- Check it, Harry! I think I just hear it "groans" - she said - … I was scared and I…

"Me too" I thought, but she was right: that thing was subtly moving! Anyway, it was not the time to be coward.

I bent down an carefully picked it up: it contained something soft, small, harmless, warm and… crying? I ran a half-smile and pulled back the edge of the grey blanket that hid… the sweetest little face I've ever seen in my entire life. As soon as my eyes met the other ones, the cry stopped.

Jodie stepped forward, disbelief:

- I cannot believe it, Harry! It's a baby! - she exclaimed.

- It's been abandoned here? The mother will be nearby!

I unwillingly gave the baby to Jodie: having that sweet and harmless newborn so close to my heart brought me new and incredible feelings. I was sure that would have been the same for Jodie, who started cuddling the infant. I walk away from them and tried to notice someone, even though the sun-light was slowly going away. I thought I see the hem of a dress behind a dry bush, maybe just an impression.

Nothing important. We were alone, so I ran back to my wife.

- It' s a girl - Jodie said as I returned - And it's beautiful…

- There's no one here; whoever left her will already be far away. How can someone leave a baby alone like this? - I replied while looking at the cute little girl.

Jodie looked at me and I returned. Finally, after a long time, I saw her smile… the radiant and wonderful smile of the woman I was in love.

I smiled too: I had it all figured out and I was excited; the woman hugged tightly the baby over her chest.

We got back in the car, all three of us.

Jodie started singing a sweet lullaby to the girl that, with her big brown eyes and the little thin lips, smiled to her. She turned to me:

- Cheryl. We'll call her Cheryl.

- Cheryl… - I softly whispered.

I really felt the luckiest man in the world.

Welcome home, Cheryl.


	2. Four Years Later

Four Years Later

A flash.

_Whooom!_

Silenxe. Another flash and...

_Whooooom!_

Again: silence, lightning and…

_Whoooom!_

The last one completely lit my bedroom. I was still in bed, but I couldn't fall asleep. The storm was continuing for a while; well, I didn't want to get up. I felt weak, like never before.

I looked at the clock: 3:00 a.m.

I ran a hand through my hair… how much time passed since I took care of myself? How long I had no desie of doing anything? Since I felt so exhausted?

- Almost three months - I muttered to no one.

I rolled on my hip, feeling empty and sad, in this lonely house.

- Almost three months - I repeated, louder.

A sudden feeling of nausea washed over me, but what I could throw up? My own bile? I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

How many nights I spent dreaming of you? My love…

Why did you leave? Why now? You, who dreamed a long and happy life, like that of a fairy tale, didn't deserve to die so young. You had left a huge void… that I didn't want to fill now. No. Never. You were my entire life!

You were so pale in these last weeks, but you relaxed me about it. Then… the rush to the hospital… and the disease that crushed you fragile little life…

You were so different from the girl I saw many years ago, at high school. But my feelings were the same. Even now.

I was by your side that night, until your last breath. I held your incredibly cold hand, powerless limbs.

- _Go now. Take care of our precious daughter, Harry_. I love you - were your last words, still written in the depth of my soul. Yet, I faltered after your death: I no longer got out after the burial, I cried days and days for you and many times I even thought of killing myself… make the pain stop and see you again. "This is the horrible person that I am" I often repeated to myself, my hands on a knife, pointing at the chest.

Lightning and…

Whooooooooooom!

- Daddy… ?

I whirled around. She was at the door: the short and unkempt black hair framed her pretty face, showing all her childish innocence. She was wearing a pink pajamas and her left hand was clutching her favourite teddy bear, while the other was rubbing her weary eye. She seemed worried.

- What's wrong, honey? - I asked, sitting up.

She opened wide her black eyes:

-I'm scared of the thunderstorms… - she whispered. She looked so pure and sweet, when she felt guilty. The child, unlike me, had passively accepted the death of her mother. We never revealed her she was "adopted", so she thought to be our natural daughter. Maybe, when she will grow up enough…

I really feared that when she probably finds out the truth, she will depart from me. Forever.

- Want to sleep with daddy, sweetie? - I gently asked her.

And she didn't need to be ask twice: she rubbed again her eyes and, after a second, she was next to me, curled under the warm blankets.

She whispered:

- I'm not afraid anymore, Daddy, because you are with me! Can you tell me a story, Daddy? Uhm… Cinderella! Cinderella!

- Alright - I smiled - But after that, we'll sleep.

- I promise!

I began my story. Oh, and we laughed so much.

Cheryl was my only reason for living. She reminded me of my death wife and her last promise. Could she fell the emptiness that I felt? Could she feel the absence of her mother? Sometimes I wonder if her real mother was still alive.

After the "All lived happily ever after" of Cinderella, she sank into a deep sleep.

Some nights, Cheryl rose from her bed and began to walk in her sleep toward the window or the door, as if was trying to escape. But then she woke up, as if nothing had ever happened, and simply went back to sleep. She never mentioned these strange facts to me: I discovered this oddity alone, seeing her walking in the dark hallway, like a ghost. It was very scary the first time. Maybe her sleepwalking problems will end with the age. Anyway she didn't deserve it.

Cheryl was the sweetest girl I'd ever met - very few. I didn't know how to explain her… her…

Well, I grew up with idea that everyone has a dark and bad side and a good half of the soul inside us. I thought she was the exception, the only one. It was like she was devoid of the bad side. It sounded absurd… but so it was: she never cried or annoyed me, Cheryl was an obedient girl. She always surprised me, even when she was a baby: she also never screamed or yelled, and she seemed even greater for her age.

She was a good little girl.

At that very moment, under the storm, there was another little girl. Her figure was covered by a dark coat, and it seemed that she was looking through the closed window of the Mason's. It was like she was spying something.

- There she is - she whispered in the wind.


End file.
